Sex is great, and although it’s not the only goal, it’s even better when one or both of you have an orgasm. It is arguably easier for men to climax than it is for women, and there are several reasons for this:
- According to the Huffington Post, women masturbate less regularly than men and therefore aren’t as sure what can get them to an orgasm
- Women can feel shy or insecure, which aren’t great emotions when trying to reach the big O
- Women like or dislike many different things when it comes to sex, and not knowing or assumption can lead to discomfort
No doubt you’d love to give your woman an orgasm. Take these 10 steps to get ever closer to achieving that big O.
1. Ask her what she likes
You’d be surprised how many people think it’s okay to just jump in with what they think they already know. Women like and dislike many different things when it comes to sex; for example, one woman might love having her butt played with while another woman won’t want you anywhere near there. Some like it rough. Some like foot massages or being tickled. Always ask.
Before you even strip down and get to the business, know exactly what your girl loves. Encourage her not to be embarassed; tell her that the more you know, the more you can do for her.
2. Ensure She’s Comfortable
A woman can’t have a good orgasm if she isn’t 100% comfortable. If you talked to her about what she likes, that helped, but see what she’s OK with. Many women are self-concious about their bodies no matter how beautiful they are.
Does she want the lights off? No problem. Does she need to dash to the bathroom for a quick perfume spray? No worries. Make sure she’s completely happy and comfortable.
3. Touch her body
You both know where your ultimate goal is, but there’s no need to get there so fast. Start by kissing her. Touch her arms, her hair, her neck, her hands, chest, and stomach. Kiss her all over. This will help her relax and turn her on.
4. Tease and go slow
There’s no rushing these things, after all. Savour every part of her, and pay attention to the little noises she makes. Start at her fingertips and pay attention to places like shoulders and thighs. This will give her time to get nice and wet.
5. Pay attention to her thighs and butt
Unless she explicitly asked you not to go near her butt, don’t forget it when you’re warming her up. Gently squeeze, touch, and even kiss her buttocks and ensure it isn’t forgotten.
6. Listen to her
If she tells you to touch her in a certain place, do it! It’s likely that in that moment, doing what she wants you to do will take her to higher levels of pleasure. Teasing is important in some cases, but when she says “touch me there!” or “faster!” be all ears and comply. It’ll be worth it.
When you get to her pussy, be gentle. Brush her private lips with yours, and slowly lick her all over. Once you’ve begun, let her go in control. Go where she asks you to go, and adjust speed and intensity as she asks. If she says nothing at all, don’t be afraid to ask! She’ll appreciate it.
7. Use one finger
If you watch a lot of pornography, you might notice that people tend to be rough. Don’t go ahead and stick three fingers in her with no warning – it usually does more harm than good. Unless she asks otherwise, just insert one finger as your mouth does the work. Take notice of her reaction. Slide slowly in and out.
Because a woman’s vagina can take a lot – they give birth with those things, after all – one finger feels good, but not enough. People love to be teased, and one finger takes her closer to an orgasm without being too much at once.
8. Change it up
Don’t do the same thing over and over. Been licking the top for a while? Give her thighs some attention. Haven’t touched her ass for a while? Give it some love. Every thirty seconds or so, change how you go and where you’re licking. It’ll make it more exciting, and if she finds something feels particularly good, she’ll urge you to keep doing it.
9. During the orgasm, go faster
When that magical moment happens and she tells you she’s cumming, keep doing what you’re doing, a little faster and harder. Pump your fingers, suck on her clitoris, and grab her ass. As soon as her body relaxes, slow down and stop.
10. The cool-down period
After a woman’s orgasm, her body will take a few moments to relax. If all went well, she’ll probably give you a dreamy smile or pull you close and tell you what a great job you did. Well done! In a few minutes’ time, it’ll be her turn to do you.
With these 10 steps, you’ll be giving your girl a great orgasm in no time. Make her comfortable, listen to what she needs, and have confidence that you’re taking control. Good luck!